It never fails, when we're gearing up for another insemination attempt, or I'm ovulating, (or both, as currently is the case) I get bone deep depressed. It's not going to happen naturally for us, but instead of accepting that and moving on, we choose to continue to drag ourselves through the hell of trying, getting hopeful and then getting our hearts broken a bit more. It's like the people who play the lottery week after week after week, hoping for that one chance in multiple millions that they'll get a payout. It's sad, really, and a lot like beating your head against a wall.
So, what are our options? Foster care? Well, ok, that's a chance, but it's also a lot of heartbreak The kids aren't even available for adoption unless every single chance for their parents to take them back is exhausted. How many kids will we get placed with us, only to have them taken back? How long will we be able to handle that?
IVF? No, that's not going to work either. We can't get approved via insurance for it because we're not using our husband's sperm. There are free clinical trials we could apply for, but they would require multiple trips out of state, and that's just not possible. We have a mortgage, a car note, bills, etc, so applying for medical financing is out of the question.
Surrogacy? Well, it's a great idea in theory, but surrogates who aren't paid are few and far in between. We can't afford to pay for it, or we'd just do IVF. We have friends we could ask, I guess, but that is a HUGE request. Not like it's just asking to borrow a book. We would have to ask someone to get pregnant using a piece of themselves, carry that piece for us, then give it away.
Adoption? See above, RE money.
I just get more and more disheartened and jaded as time goes by.
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