We're coming up on another pregnancy attempt, and I have to say, going into this one, I'm lacking a certain excitement that has been there for prior attempts. We have an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) appointment tomorrow to see what's the what, but even that doesn't have me hopeful. This last attempt, with so many signs that could have been early pregnancy, when my hopes were dashed, they were dashed hard. I know it was much the same for Sheri. I wonder, how many times can our hearts be broken before we're both too shattered to go on? Ah, well.
This attempt will be attempt four, I think, with our local donor. He continues to be an amazing person, very outgoing in his dealings with us. He wants us to succeed as much as we do, I think. After so many swings and misses with donors and sperm banks, it's so nice to have a responsible, dependable person to rely on.
I know that this will all happen when and how it's meant to, but it's such a hard process. We see so many people with babies they didn't plan, didn't want in some cases, and it came so easily to them. I find it endlessly frustrating and unfair that we, a couple who have the money, time, love and want for a child, are having so much trouble. It's tough not to be bitter.
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